Seeing Through the Eyes of Others

“If then there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by thinking the same way, having the same love, sharing the same feelings, focusing on one goal. Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:1-4, HCSB) 

We often look at the world through our own eyes and assume that others see things in exactly the same way we do—and of course they don’t. We don’t all see alike because each person brings his or her preferences, experiences and perceptions to every situation.  Everyone filters human interactions through their own  standards of conduct, their own definitions of right and wrong. And this is where the rub comes in. 

I remember someone saying something like,  “I’m sure they view things the same way I do and  it won’t bother them.”  Unfortunately, they may have been mistaken. Assuming that others think and feel as we do ensures miscommunication and can damage relationships. No one enjoys having another person assume they know what is best for them, especially if they haven’t been brought into the discussion first. 

None of us knows what is going on in another person's life at any given moment. Something devastating may have happened to them that we know nothing about, or they may have been going through a demanding day or struggling through a difficult situation.  We only add to their burdens by making assumptions about their actions or words. It is only human to speculate, but when that speculation turns to supposition, especially when we don't or won't talk with them personally, it becomes internal gossip. 

We need  to see the world through the eyes of others, focusing not on how something they said or did made us feel, but focusing on their viewpoint of reality. As we endeavor to understand and love them better, the smallness of our attitudes will fade away and we will be able to see them with a new appreciation. 

Copyright 2014 Kathy Sanders